|Pre School in Vaddukoddai where the first Political Declaration of Self Governance was made in 1976 through the Vaddukoddai Resolution|
Gajalakshmi Paramasivam – 11 February 2015
Warriors or Healers?
I resigned from a Sri Lankan Forum, because I could not ‘see’ myself in the young members who were hastily promoted to Committee positions. The apparent reason for such quick promotion was their ‘show of cleverness’. That happened also with the Political Rebel groups – JVP (Sinhalese) as well as LTTE (Tamil) - in Sri Lanka.
The stronger the mind connection the greater the fulfilment one enjoys of one’s work. When the focus is more on immediate returns - the deeper values are lost consciousness of. I would rather contemplate and connect to the minds of my ancestors to have the deeper experience than be part of production of quick outcomes.
My resignation from the Sri Lankan Forum was due to not wanting to be seen as being responsible for the outcomes produced by immature leadership – driven by cleverness rather than feeling of ownership. Young ones who have had the real experience – would make more valuable contribution than those who ‘know’ largely through hearsay. To my mind, knowledge without faith is hearsay. If we are to be strong locally / institutionally, the older generation’s Truth needs to be the foundation on which the younger generation’s systems are developed. Hence hasty leadership allocated to young ones without the experience, would lead to ‘club’ attitude. Often dependent seniors tend to take shortcuts just to keep a position going for themselves and thus become part of the ‘club’. I enjoy the freedom of connecting to higher minds – and hence distance myself from clubs. Meditation helps me to connect to minds of those I have never met physically and those who lived on this earth before my time. The higher the mind as per Truth - greater the order of thought.
Through meditation I was able to keep the mind still – so that I did not expect returns as per theory. This helped me work out the ‘gap’ between the known causes of my experiences and the forces needed for a particular outcome that was part of the experience. The urge to recognize this ‘gap’ was stronger when the outcome was unpleasant to me. When the outcomes were pleasant – I tended to accept them as having been earned by me. When they were unpleasant – I started looking for deeper reasons. Through this process of inner search – starting with a still mind, I discovered that when I accepted lower grades / benefits after doing my best to get the grades / benefits as per the official system my contribution did not ‘get lost’. It got converted to commonwealth which when lost consciousness of – became a common force.
Relative to others in the Australian Public Health Service – the money and status returns I received for the work performed as per my interpretation of my portfolio were lower. But later when I was recruited by the Medical Faculty of the University of New South Wales – that was more than a certificate. It became a deeper force through which I communicated with the Dean of Medicine who recruited me. I accumulated more such Energies while working for the University through the Medical Faculty – always conscious of the total picture. I had much pain when my expectations to be recognized for that work did not get fulfilled. But I did not take revenge. Instead I sought to know why? Meditation helped me recognize that the outcomes were a combination of forces that were beyond the control of individuals – for better or for worse. This helped me bring about closure. Later I recognized that ‘Health Service Force’ when I had the opportunity to go to the war camps in Sri Lanka in 2009 and serve the needy and also in 2015 when I was able to facilitate the escalation of problems faced by war victims in Northern Sri Lanka working within the Public Health system. Had I not accepted the weaknesses of the University staff as mine I would not have brought about closure. I did so AFTER escalating my pain to the highest level through Due Administrative and Legal Processes. Had I not accepted the ‘gap’ as being part of the weakness in the system - I could not have brought about closure at the national level. Once I brought about closure at the national level the surplus – got converted to global energy and hence the higher opportunities in Sri Lanka which is more global now than it was in three decades ago.
I accepted the weaknesses of the LTTE Administration as my own after I worked with them through a UNDP project in 2003. There again I was not paid as agreed but I became global given that UNDP is global. This helped me become part of the system that was the soil for such rebellious roots. Those roots are still there and any compensation to victims above their earned levels would weaken the soil that is home to other sections of the Tamil Community as well as to common Sri Lankans.
When wrongs remain uncorrected by the official system they become social problems. When social problems are neglected they become our permanent weaknesses/sins. Such sins are beyond correction by the human systems. Those who travel deep and have the experience from both sides – realize the power of ownership. That’s when we realize that the contributions we made genuinely – are not lost - but convert themselves into Energies and are in waiting to influence our wholesome experience. Then we cease being warriors and start healing through our natural participation